There are some days where I think I’ve completely forgotten that A is in treatment. Or, at least, I don’t think that that fact is taking up any extra space in my brain. The day would have rolled out in exactly the same routine if he had never been diagnosed with leukemia. But, every now and again on one of those days that seems perfectly ordinary, a song or a quote or a news article will immediately release a floodgate of tears. I find myself crying out tears I didn’t even know were sitting behind my eyes. And yet there are so many that flow so easily. Many times, I don’t even understand why I’m crying. It feels like I’m releasing eons of pent-up sadness. That I didn’t even realize was there. Yet, it must have been.
“Do you have a leak in your eye?” A will ask. It might be so.